Are you letting people down just for being you?
Do you feel that you owe explanations to people in your life?
If so, perhaps it’s time to reframe your approach to relating with less stories and more embodiment - starting with your relationship with yourself.
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If you are courageous enough to operate from your type’s strategy, you already know that this alone can potentially wreak havoc in your relationships, especially with those who’ve been close to you for years.
That’s because you are now looking for the right invitation from people who’ve not necessarily recognised you, or for a gut response that may not be easily present with people who are expecting automatic responsiveness.
It isn’t anyone’s fault, given that you’ve played your part in this relationship as your old notself since forever. You played by the rules - and you expected the other to do the same. And now you’ve discovered human design and your strategy has changed —
No more stories, and no more who is right or wrong. No more who should be doing what and when. Simply - what feels right, or not. That’s all. No explanations or justifications.
It’s a challenge.
Sixteen years into my human design journey - waiting for the right invitations and taking my time to process - I still get criticised and blamed by people who are close to me. And I blame them back for not honouring my need to wait for clarity and blah blah blah…
And this is after countless ‘heart to heart’ conversations during which I naively thought to myself - 'hurray, they are getting it. They are going to respect my projector nature from now on’… But the mind is a trickster. It will forget, and it will start the expectations and blaming game all over again.
Here is the thing. No one owes us automatic respect and consideration for the design that we are, including family and friends. Those who do naturally show respect are probably those who are on our fractal line, who recognise us, or who resonate with us mechanically.
There is a body of knowledge called Design / Personality resonance, which focuses on the mechanics of resonance. It shows that we are truly choiceless.
You are the one who has to respect your design and vehicle by operating correctly, which may well go against the social and family grain, but which can reveal the beauty of who you are and what/who you are here to experience.
You are not responsible for anyone, nor are you here to be chained to people’s expectations.
Trying to be loyal to others first, and then see if you can still operate with your strategy and authority (like I did to begin with) is not going to work. This approach will only breed more bitterness, frustration - and exhausting explanations.
You can only be loyal to yourself by what feels correct. Show the people in your life who you are - don’t try to tell them.
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Image: digital art by E Aboutboul